Recap: Real Housewives of Atlanta–Kim Needs Autotune, Phaedra’s New Career Lane & NeNe Confronts Greg

Your favorite Real Housewives of Atlanta Episode Re-capper, Yosh, is here for the recap! Today, we’re going to keep it short and sweet (for the short attention span readers, as TJB says).

Kandi wants to helps Lawrence, Sheree’s hair stylist, become the first openly gay R&B singer. (((Rupaul of the next generation–the Kandi Koated Entertainment empire will make it happen.)))

Fast forward…Kim shows up to work on her “ring don’t mean a thing” song and I must say I’m over Kim wanting to live her Brittany Spears dream. She goes into the booth complaining about some damncurtains and Kandi is trying to direct her. As soon as Kim opens her mouth, we all remember that this child can not sing! (((Dear Kim, Why must you keep torturing us? Is it because your meal ticket with Big Poppa has expired!)))In all honestly, get that wig line poppin girl because singing is NOT what the lawd has in store for you. (((cue the music, What God Has For Me, It is For me….)))

Fast forward…Cynthia is at the park with her sexy baby daddy, Leon! She was previously engaged to him and admits that he was her soulmate. They remain great friends co-parenting with their daughter. Mmm mmm mmm. #Anywaydoe, she brings up the topic of her pending marriage with her boyfriend. Leon shares with her that she (Cynthia) needs to open her heart to marriage. Duh.

Fast forward…Phaedra receives a staged visit from Latavia, formerly of Destiny’s Child. This whole scene just came straight out of left field. Phaedrawants her to do a one woman show/solo career and claims that she’s always saw something in her, and wants to develop her into a new artist. Uhm, when did  she become a talent manager? You’re a lawyer boo, STAY IN YOUR LANE! Latavia shares  her sad sob story about getting X’d out of Destiny’s Child. She even reveals she got a DWI and actually went to jail! When did this happen! #Anywaydoedon’t be comin’ up outta nowhere tryna bash the almighty Queen Bey. YOU WILL NOT!

Fast forward…Kim is having a yard sale to get rid of things that have been in her $800 a monthstorage closet. Homegirl has all types of crap! Her Dad steps in to negotiate prices and Kim is about to have a heart attack. NeNe buys her $20,000 bedroom set for her 80 year old aunt for $1500. This drives Kim to drink! No literally. She has her assistant fetch her some wine and puts it in her travel mug. Mind you, it’s 9 o’clock in the morning. Who carries wine around in their car ready to drink? Such a lush! #Anywaydoe, Phaedradrops by the yard sale and the ladies break for lunch. Kim asks Phaedra when she’s having her baby and Phaedra explains that she plans to induce. She claims he’s 8lbs at 7 month pregnant. It’s clear she’s 9 months and just lying about when she conceived! NeNe looks like she just wants to smack some damn sense into her; but she doesn’t and it saddens us.

Fast forward…NeNe invites Simon and Cynthia over for dinner. Her rationale is to hook Bryce (her son) up with Simon because he’s interested in getting into the nightlife business. Low and behold, Gregis there! Obviously, he doesn’t want to be there because he’s overly sensitive and snapping back when NeNe says little things about him. While Simon is giving Bryce some big brother/fatherly advice about starting his own business, NeNe takes the attention to her failing marriage. SMDH. I forgot to mention Simon brought a bottle of Moet Rose’, so NeNe is now drunk and belligerent. She starts putting her hands in Greg’s face making him admit he has issues with communication and it clear that Greg is not entertained. He goes off to play pool and Cynthia lets NeNe know he loves her. NeNe responds with she’s going to divorce Greg. I can honestly say that NeNe still loves him, but just doesn’t have faith in her marriage anymore. She even brings up the topic of cheating again! Is there something going on that we don’t know about? Hmmmm, I’ll be sure to tune in next Sunday and see what’s going on in the Leakes household!

(((Editor’s note. Yosh can not stand Kat Stacks. All #Anywaydoe references are inserted by Jasmine. We hope that this annoys both Yosh & all of my readers. Ha!)))