Tashera Simmons, the wife of rapper DMX (real name Earl Simmons), has broken her silence via a tell-all book titled, You Think You Know, But You Have No Idea. And while we’ve heard part of her story (on the reality TV show ‘Couples Therapy’ and ‘Iyanla: Fix My Life’), the mother of four has opened up about what life has been like being married to a troubled artist whose battled with drug addiction during the entirety of their relationship. In an interview with Power 105’s ‘The Breakfast Club’ the new author talks. Check out a few excerpts below.
I’ve been here several times and I never really talk about anything because I was just to ashamed and I felt like no one would believe me anyway. It was not until he started exposing himself more, Iyanla Vanzant did it for me…I had been writing this book, but I had the last three chapters I just couldn’t get it together…Then after him coming not only here and other places saying I’m money hungry I’m like, ‘we been together for ten years before you got famous and I’m the one that always held it down’.
People would come up to me all the time, in my most darkest moments of being ashamed and feeling humiliated because I know the real story people would come up to me and say,’You’re DMX’s wife?’ and I would feel like sh-t when they asked me I was like ‘yeah’ and they’re like, ‘keep your head up you’re an inspiration.’The more I started hearing that the more I was like you know what I can really turn my pain into purpose and that’s exactly the only reason and that why I do motivational speaking. I feel like after all I’ve been through and you see it in the book…It’s not about bashing DMX at all.
At the time to be honest with you, I didn’t see anything wrong with it…He went back and forth like he would be the loving father, disciplinarian..I’m always the push over and it worked but after awhile..I say it in the book, it wasn’t my strength trust me, I felt like if I left X he was gonna die. I sacrificed my happiness and everything because it was to the point where I didn’t even care if he cheating I don’t even care I was just wanna help him. I always felt like he needed me so much. When my son told me that one day if he hears his father talk to me that way again, he gonna kill him and he was 14, I realized that this is my responsibility as a parent to get out of this relationship.
Jay always kept it real. I remember we had just broken up and X may have took some shots at Jay. I saw Jay in club..he called me over and he said, ‘no matter what X ever says…never gonna come back at him. He gotta lot of demons and I’m just gonna continue to pray for him.’ That was really deep to me and I went and told X that. I don’t know where this mad rapper stuff is coming from, you know what I’m saying cause him and Jay was peers coming up together. As it when on and I kept hearing X throwing shots at Jay, I don’t know if someone is around him putting it in his ear trying to make conflict, I’m told that Jay said he would never come back at him.