J.Lo Gets Emotional, Talks Low Self Esteem & Divorce to Marc Anthony [VIDEO]

Jennifer Lopez: It’s hard to say, a lot of it is private, but at the same time you just come to a realization like this is not the best thing for all of us. When you have kids you have to think about those things. It’s not just about you anymore it’s about them. I wanted the best situation for all of us and I think Marc did too. That’s what we think that we did.”

Meredith Vieira: Sometimes we hold a relationship together for the kids and sometimes you need to end a relationship for the kids. You finally told Marc and he said okay, right out of the book?

Jennifer Lopez: Well it was a long process to get to that. In a book, again it’s going to seem like it all happened so fast. It didn’t, it took a long time and a long time of both of us doing the best we could. Trying the hardest we could because we had kids and because we loved each other, we still do. But at the end of the day when I said it to him I kind of wished he would’ve been like ‘No way’. But he knew it too and he was like ‘Okay’.

Meredith Vieira: At the start of the book, you’ve just been named by People, the most beautiful woman in the world, you have a number one hit single, and you’re a judge on American Idol. Everything is going great and yet you are having one of the worst days of your life. What was going that none of us knew?

Jennifer Lopez: I was realizing that my marriage was falling apart. The kids were only like three years old at the time. The whole thing was just heartbreaking and it’s so funny how life is like that sometimes. You’re having tremendous highs at the same time you’re going through what was the worst moment of my life, at that moment.

Meredith Vieira: People didn’t know it until your blurted it out.

Jennifer Lopez: Well, I was there and I was at this photo shoot and I was sitting there and of course things have been going on for awhile. I just wasn’t ready to deal with the fact that it could be over. That was like the worst thing in the world for me. The one thing that I would have never wanted to have happened.

Meredith Vieira: This was the fairy tale marriage, this was the one?

Jennifer Lopez: Yeah, it was suppose to be and I waited so long to have kids and I finally did and I realized “Oh my God, this is not right.

Meredith Vieira: You said that you couldn’t be with him?

Jennifer Lopez: Yeah, I said to my mom and once I did that I started sobbing because I finally let the feeling and the words out of my mouth. I held it for so long “No this can’t happen, this is not going to happen, I’m not going to do this, I’m going to make this work.” And I think that’s how everyone feels at that moment, but to put it on paper was more terrifying than going through it.

Meredith Vieira: Here you are a major star, such a talent, and suffered from self-esteem issues. Your whole life and didn’t even recognize it. What was going on?

Jennifer Lopez: I don’t even know, you just don’t realize certain things. I never really understood what loving yourself was. People are like “you have to love yourself” and I’m like “I think I do.” But that’s one of the things I learned by having gotten divorced and having kind of hitting that rock bottom. Having to take a good look at myself, it’s like what are you doing wrong? This is not just about other people this is about you. You have to take responsibility for your life.

Meredith Vieira: You’re saying you were looking for acceptance from the outside all the time, from the time you were little, instead of finding it from within?

Jennifer Lopez: Yeah I was little and I would run track, I would get a medal and everyone would be like “Oh, Jen’s great!” You’re looking for that all the time instead of just knowing that I am great, I’m a great person. I try to do the right things and I never gave myself that credit. I never gave myself credit for being good at anything. You’re always more opt to believe the negative things that people say about you than the positive things because you’re not telling yourself the positive things enough. I feel like that’s something that I needed to learn how to do so that when I say things like “I love myself or I love this” it’s not a thing that comes from being arrogant or conceited. It comes from having to build yourself up from within because those voices that we hear are the ones that are more negative. And that’s destructive I think and it makes us make bad choices in life.

Meredith Vieira: Are those voices getting weaker?

Jennifer Lopez: I battle those voices all the time and again it’s always about kind of reminding myself of your worthy, to have a good life, to have a good relationship, and to be successful. You deserve all those things, everybody does.

@justEss__