17
Nov
2018

Kehlani Talks Pregnancy As A Queer Woman And Shares Advice She’ll Give Her Daughter

Written by TJB Writer in Blog

Kehlani Talks Pregnancy As A Queer Woman &  Advice She’ll Give Her Daughter

Back in October, Kehlani announced her pregnancy.  Shortly after, she revealed that her child’s father was bisexual. Since then, everyone has had a thing or two to say. In a new interview, Kehlani discussed the public’s perception of her pregnancy and what she truly thinks about the way people feel.

I’ve gotten everything from “I thought she was a lesbian” to “she was using queerness to promote her career, then went and betrayed us with a man” to “her baby father is just a sperm donor.” One, I never identified as a lesbian. I’ve always been pansexual. My first mixtape included songs about males and songs about women. My first album had songs about a nonbinary ex, an intersex ex, and male/female exes. I don’t always make it a point to identify pronouns in the music because that isn’t the focal point. 

I also saw a lot of discomfort with the use of the word “queer,” hinting that it’s used for folks to run away from identifying with a more “solidified” term like bi/lesbian/gay/pan. My response is: Whatever makes you feel your safest, in your truest identity, you should identify as such without being policed by the same community you are supposed to feel most safe with. A lot of queer youth I know feel extremely validated by the term “queer.” You deserve to be believed, taken for what you say you are, and not shamed for it. Always open to learning though.

Kehlani expressed her thoughts on how she feels about having a daughter.

My overall dreams and goals for my life are to love to the highest limits one can experience love. The highest forms of happiness, and graciousness. I believe creating life is one of the highest forms of love! I’m accomplishing one of my biggest goals as we speak.

She also shares advice she will pass down to her daughter.

Listen to her heart. Be gentle with herself because she is going to make mistakes. Be fearless, but even if she does get completely engulfed in fear at times, it does not in any way make her weak. She will grow up knowing compassion is a gift. I will remind her that she is whatever she wants to be, and that sometimes that changes. I have a feeling she will be giving me a lot of advice when she is 23. She will be better than me in any and every aspect. I can’t wait to learn from her.

You can read the entire interview here.