Brandi's Mother Dishes Out Relationship Advice: "Until he or she puts a “ring” on it, you’re still single and free so have fun!"
Ray J/Brandi’s mother, Sonja Norwood, dishes on why young people shouldn’t rush into relationships. Peep her latest blog entry via vibe: I’m not a big believer in meeting an age deadline for marriage. I believe the old cliché of you must be married before 25, if a woman is to avoid being called an old maid, is just that – an old cliché. People shouldn’t apply pressure to others to settle into a relationship, especially marriage. This includes family members, extended family, or friends. Remember, you are the one that will live with that person of your choice every day. Therefore, it’s important that you make the exclusive decision on when your time is right and if the person you’re choosing is right for you.
Love can be a beautiful thing if shared with that right person. If you have been dating for a while, you must know what type of qualities you expect in your partner’s character. If it takes you a while to find that person, it’s better to keep searching than to settle.
The world is huge and has a lot to offer everyone. Many times our mistakes are made because we feel the need to rush. Ask yourself, whose deadline are you meeting…your own or someone else’s?
I don’t apply pressure to my children to settle down if they aren’t ready. Relationships are personal and the decision to settle has to be made by the parties involved. My advice is that you explore…the world offers a sea of choices. Meet people from different walks of life, this helps you to get to know yourself and your own expectations of others within a relationship. By meeting people you get to know more about what type of person you want to love and what type of person can fulfill your needs. You should look for an everlasting partner and usually you will not find an everlasting partner on the first go round.
In my home, I stay out of that relationship arena with my children. I’m there when they want me to listen. I do have my opinions and when appropriate, I will voice them. Over the course of Ray J and Brandy’s dating, I’ve only met a couple of people that were considered serious. I think it’s healthy for them to meet different people. I don’t judge who they should meet, why should I? Truthfully, until you are married, your options are open.
Enjoy life…enjoy finding the right person. Learn from each relationship…getting to know the character of a person, while dating, is crucial to your relationship in the future. If you’re dogged, used, misused and abused in your dating, mostly like you will be if married. Get to know the character of the person of your interests. Don’t try to change them either. You may be able to change the behavior of someone else for a short period of time, but you can’t change who they truly are; only the individual can change that in their own time. If you haven’t met your match, don’t be afraid to move on and explore more opportunities. There is a person out there whose life has naturally formed almost perfectly just for you. Be patient and don’t settle until you find them.
When you find that ONE, love will be the foundation that will keep you together. Love + friendship will bring you through the storms of life and Love + friendship + God will keep you everlasting. So, get to know the inner-person you’re dating. If it last, be thankful and continue to work on your relationship – don’t easily walk away over small stuff, but if a relationship you enter doesn’t last, examine it to figure out what went wrong and learn from it. It’s okay to walk away…better to walk away now than to have settled into any relationship that will eventually lead to a breakup anyway.
My desire for young people is that they aren’t pressured into settling and use their experiences to learn from each relationship – forming your own likes and dislikes to be better prepared for the next relationship. That means pay attention to the signs and don’t continue to accept behavior you don’t like from yourself or anyone else. Until you recognize the main issues of yourself, you will continue to choose future partners with similar traits.
Never forget that until he or she puts a “ring” on it, you’re still single and free so have fun!
Lately, we’ve heard very little from former G-Unit singer Oliva, but she’s opened up via Global Grind about the rumors, why she left G-Unit and what’s up her sleeve for the future.
Read a few excerpts below: I’ve been through a lot of trials,tribulations and rumors, and it’s made me a stronger person; I know this industry a lot better. Everybody wants to know what happened with me and my past situations in this industry. Everything that I’ve been through, I’ve been at labels where people didn’t know what to do with me. When I was at J, I was the VERY first artist signed. So I was the very first artist to be put out which means I was the guinea pig, I was the experimental one. I sold 500,000 when I was over there but in the general public it looks like a failure because they don’t know what happened.
At G-Unit, there were only rap people; not one R&B person, one A&R – everything was rap. So nobody really knew what to do with me. It was a little difficult. I had expressed wanting to leave before because it was like an R&B girl thrown into a rap thing. At that time, who wouldn’t wanna be signed to 50 Cent?! I was more than grateful that he called me and asked me to do it but it’s a stepping stone. I needed that to get to another place, and now I’m in another place where I’m gonna be bigger and better so it’s not like it hurt me.
After my situations, one would think people wouldn’t back me as much but it’s like they love me more and they wanna see me. So it’s a good thing for me because I wasn’t expecting that love. God gives you MANY blessings if you stick with your dreams, work hard and keep the faith. My world is getting a lot more perfect now that I’m seeing the fruition of my dreams. I appreciate everyone, thank you so much.
Weezy F is featured in Ozone Magazine’s upcoming “sex issue.” He opens up a bit about his upcoming documentary, fatherhood, his children’s mother and some more. See excerpts below:
There was some controversy over the release of The Carter documentary. Did you feel like they emphasized the drug addiction aspect too much? Is that the reason you didn’t want it released?
The fact that we didn’t want it released was business; paperwork. I feel like, if I agreed to have that camera around me, then I can’t tell that person what to edit when they go to the editing room, unless I am in the editing room and editing with them. If I’m not then I shouldn’t complain, but I was supposed to have a say-so because I had to approve it. And that was the whole [problem]. I didn’t approve it and they still put it out.
On whether he considers himself a good father and child support:
I’m not on child support with none of my kids cause I’m a great father. So it’s not determined by how much money you’re paying at all. That’s not what it’s about. It’s about being there and being that important person in their lives. It’s about being #1 or #2 in their life. That’s very important for your child, to make sure you’re that #1 or #2. Because if you’re not, you know what #1 or #2 could end up being. That’s the most important thing of all. I just try to make sure I’m of the highest importance in their lives, next to their moms.
On respecting woman but still calling them hoes and bitches in his songs:
There’s two answers to that. One is – there are bitches. There are hoes. There are ladies. There are women. There are girls. Pick which side you’re on. When somebody’s saying something about “bitches,” if they didn’t say “Julia is a bitch,” if it doesn’t apply to you then it doesn’t apply to you. The second answer is, you’d have to be a woman who’s met me to know if I believe you’re a bitch or a hoe or whatever.
You worked with Shanell a lot on the Rebirth album. Was it more of a musical connection at first and then became more personal, or vice versa?
Since when did it become a personal thing?
I don’t know. I thought y’all were an item?
That’s a rumor, sweetheart. No, it’s never been a personal thing. As far as us being friends, yeah. That’s my friend. Shanell is a great artist and that’s it, period. She’s a Young Money great artist. I heard a rumor that she was pregnant from me. How could that be? We’ve never had sex. How could she be pregnant from me? You’ve got to have sex to be pregnant. That’s one of the things you have to do. I don’t understand how people’s brains work. You know? I’m a really big person. I’m a real superstar. I’m not afraid to tell you or nobody else, you know? I die every week [according to the rumors]. I’m in jail right now [according to the rumors].
Is love what you think about all the time? Or just right now?
Right now. I think about the moment, but my thoughts usually last for days and lifetimes.
I know you’re generally not too concerned about the critics, but you did get a lot of flak for the four baby mamas.
I don’t think what people think should be any concern of anybody’s. It’s definitely not a concern of mine. I’d be crazy if it was and you’re crazy if you are.
I think people translate “he has four baby mamas” as “he disrespects women.”
But that goes back to me not caring about what people think or say. They wanna be [baby mama] number five, six, and seven, so…
(((For a man locked-up, Weezy is getting some fabulous media coverage. The man has videos coming out, interviews, and his own damn blog from jail, folks! Kudos to his handlers for the press in que.)))
Here for full interview.
The mother of Solar’s child, Tasha Denham, who was also a close friend to Guru speaks w/ Hip Hop DX, and provides some exclusive info that has yet been told about the friendship between Guru and Solar. Peep a few excerpts here: HipHopDX: Thank you for speaking to us. To start, could you describe your relationship and the context of your relationship to the man the Hip Hop community knows as Solar, as well as Guru?
Tasha Denham: I met Guru and Solar in 2006. I actually met them out in Denver, [Colorado]. I was moving back to New York. I started a personal relationship with Solar and subsequently became pregnant by him, and had a child by him.
In the middle of 2006, a situation happened on tour. They needed some help with some business things – they were in Europe, and needed some things done in the States, and I happened to be able to help them out at that time.
By the end of 2006, I decided that I was going to leave and come back to Denver, due to issues that I was having with Solar in our personal relationship. At that time, because we weren’t going to have a personal relationship, I wasn’t able to help [7 Grand Records] anymore. After our daughter was born, I started talking to them again, and had just a personal relationship at that time with both Solar and Guru. I considered Guru a close friend of mine. Solar is obviously the father of my child.
In 2007, once again, they were over in Europe, and had some complications on tour. Their tour manager had to quit in the middle of the tour. So they had me do some stuff for them. It ended up working out well, and at that point in time, they decided to bring me on as an assistant for [7 Grand Records] and I was both of their personal-slash executive assistants, at the same time, it was a small record label, so I did whatever needed to be done to try and make the record label run smoothly. So I worked on a day-to-day basis with both Guru and Solar till about July, 2008.
DX: It’s a weird question to ask, but I know that what you’re telling me a lot on pre-2006 is based entirely on what you’ve heard, but it’s an important question to the Hip Hop community, in the wake of last Tuesday’s letter – do you know the context from that Ownerz Tour of the relationship that Solar and DJ Premier may have had with each other? A lot of people believe that Premo has been [attacked by these words Solar may have written in the letter]. A lot of people are curious to know if Solar would have any motive.
Tasha Denham: Um…I do know that there were at least some tensions. I wasn’t there, obviously, so I can’t say to what extent. But I do know that there was some tensions. I can’t say that anything Solar had against Premier had to be one specific incident. Just watching, over the time that I spent with them, Solar had such a twisted sense of how important [his own role] was to the music game. I think there was an extensive amount of jealousy towards what Premier had already created in the music industry. I can’t speak that there was one specific incident that created that animosity between them.
DX: I interviewed Premier in December 2005 in New York shortly after the break-up was implied. Premier expressed that the group was simply on glorified hiatus. I interviewed Guru and Solar in spring of 2006, and Guru was very resistant to even my question to whether Big Shug’s “Counterpunch,” which featured Guru, would be the last time fans would hear his voice on a DJ Premier beat. In interviews to come, for various outlets, Guru said some harsh things. You’re one of the few people he seemed to speak a lot to in recent years. In your private conversations with Guru, was that [sentiment] really there?
Tasha Denham: There was definitely some distaste. I don’t want to go as far as “bitterness.” I think of it had been put into his head. I don’t know if he truly felt some of the things he said in his heart. He was convinced, by Solar, that back in maybe 2003, 2004, Guru was held up and mugged in Queens, [New York]. Solar convinced Guru, at that point in time, that Premier had put the hit out on him, and Premier wanted him dead.
DX: For the record, you and I spoke privately before this interview. There’s a reason why it’s not the first question, and that largely comes from respect for Guru and his legacy and distaste for some of the unfounded rumors running right now. However, I have to ask, as MTV’s Sway Calloway so effectively worded last week to Solar, from your respective, were Guru and Solar engaged in a relationship of “a romantic nature?”
Tasha Denham: I spent extreme amounts of time with both Guru and Solar, both individually and altogether. I traveled with them. At one point in time, I stayed in Guru’s house for several weeks. I, myself, never saw any indication of it being a romantic or sexual relationship. I do have a child with [Solar]. I know that there’s many men out there that are homosexuals that have children, so that does not say that he’s not. I, however, do not believe he is. I never saw any indication of that. I never saw any type of affection in that way, if you want. I saw Guru interested in women. Obviously when I was around, Solar was with me at that point in time, but at the same time, I have my feelings that there were probably other women as well. I never got the feeling that it was homosexual. It angers me, the rumors that I hear out there – not from people like Sway. The way he asked, it was absolutely appropriate. He asked as a journalist. But I have read things, on the Internet of course, that have really disgusted me, because they’re being spoken by people that don’t have facts.
I think the way Solar is, he needed it to be that way, because that’s the way of control. You get somebody, and you distance them from everyone else. They see you on a daily basis. You’re their man day in and day out, the first person you talk to in the morning, the last person you talk to before you go to bed, that’s gonna be the person you’re gonna turn to for everything. That’s the way to best control someone. I don’t ever believe it was sexual.
DX: As a close associate, an employee, all these things. When was the first time you started to notice that things were not normal or healthy?
Tasha Denham: [Pauses] I think it came pretty early on, really. One of the defining moments to me when I knew something was…it was the way Solar spoke to Guru. It was always down to him. He really belittled him, and would do it in front of other people. This wasn’t something he just did in private. He is a member of The [Five Percent] Nation of Gods and Earths, as is Guru. He would use that against him, to bring him down. It was important to both of them, very important. I believe Guru’s a pleaser; he liked to make people happy. [Solar] would tell him that the Nation of Gods and Earths are ashamed of him, they’re disappointed in him. That he doesn’t live up to their teachings. I can’t think of the word that they used. There was a lot of times they’d get into arguments over it. He’d sit, and Guru would try to defend himself, and Solar would just get more and more irate over it.
There was one night we were at Guru’s house. I was about three months pregnant at the time. Guru kept defending himself. Guru actually stood up and kind of got in Solar’s face about it. Next thing I know, Solar punched him in the face. From that point in time, he just started kicking him and hitting him. Guru was fighting back, he wasn’t just sitting there being a punk, but at the same time, Guru had severe asthma. He didn’t have his inhaler. He started really hyper-ventalating and really having a hard time, and Solar kept beating him. It wasn’t a fight anymore, it was beating him. I felt that it was so bad that I got in between the two of them and broke it up, because I knew he wouldn’t hit me of course. At that point in time, I was pregnant with his child.
Instead of stopping and making sure his partner, friend, “brother” – as he calls him was okay, Guru was sitting there saying, “I’m having an asthma attack. I need to go to the hospital. I think I’m gonna have a heart attack.” He’s bleeding, really shaking. Instead of stopping and calming himself down, [Solar] told me, “We’re leaving,” and goes and gets in the car and drives me back to the city. [He] didn’t call and check on Guru, didn’t make sure he was alright. That’s probably one of the first times I was like, “Wow, this relationship is really unhealthy. It’s a really sick relationship.” After that, if I didn’t physically see it myself…I saw [Guru] punched in the face numerous times with no provocation. It [would just be] that he’d get upset with something Guru would say and punch him in the face. I know he knocked a tooth out of Guru’s. I know he gave him a black eye [so Guru would] have to wear glasses for photo-shoots and concerts. To listen to [Solar] talk to [Guru], you’d think he was talking to a child sometimes. Guru would tell me how bad that hurt him. He’d say, “Back when we were just friends, he never would have spoken to me this way. He always treated me with respect. Now that we’re doing this record label, he has no respect. He treats me this way.” There was a fear in him. Solar had distanced him from everything in his life: his family, his ex-partner, the whole Gang Starr Foundation and the music industry, really, as a whole. Guru spent a lot of time alone. A lot of time, if he wasn’t with Solar, he was by himself. It was his son or Solar.
He would tell me that since the label wasn’t as successful as they originally thought, he just wanted to go away. He just wanted to disappear. He wanted to go to Europe, or go to L.A. and do voice-over work and quit the whole music industry as a whole. He wanted to go back to being a regular guy, like a mailman. It got worse and worse.
Unfortunately, in about July of 2008 is when I was banished from the circle because I wouldn’t follow orders that were given to me. At that time, Guru was instructed that he was to have no more contact with me. Without Solar’s knowledge, we stayed in contact throughout 2008, till the end of 2008. I had a lot of business information that they didn’t have access to, and Guru would need it for different things. He couldn’t ask Solar to ask me, ’cause we didn’t speak. He couldn’t ask Solar [for permission] to speak to me, ’cause Solar would be angry that Guru didn’t have [the information]. So he’d contact me. I knew that things weren’t getting any better. He’d tell me that Solar was checking his emails. I was also informed that, the longer and longer it went, that Solar even took Guru’s phone away for days at a time. Guru wasn’t allowed to have a personal life at all. Even when they were on tour, he took Guru’s inhaler from him and told him that he wasn’t allowed to use it, because it was a crutch, and that he didn’t really need it…It just breaks my heart that [Guru] was suffering that way.
Here for the full interview.
Ladies (and perhaps gents), if you’re interested in learning the choreography to Ciara’s video, peep the clip below. Homeboy(s), rip it and Ciara tweeted about it too–via her twitter: Its so cool 2 C my fans and ppl create routines 2 my music! checkout these dancers dancing 2 RIDE! http://tinyurl.com/23zazev –so cool! 15 minutes ago via web
Peep these gents:
First off, if you want to keep your stuff private then you can’t have nude photos in your portfolio. You can’t have that on your computer. That’s the first way to stay away from it: Don’t do it. And then the second thing is don’t do it. Lol.
People can always find a way to get it out because sometimes you might have a best friend or a righthand that you get into it with and they could’ve had that footage and you telling them how you feel about them and you ain’t gon’ never deal with them and Eff you and then the next thing you know, boom there it is.
So you never know. My advice is don’t do it if you ain’t trying to get caught up.
Now, it’s a trend. Back then it was for real. It was something that really had to happen for it to be explosive. Now, people can tell a trend from something else. Sometimes people are doing it for publicity but if you doing it for publicity you better look good! That’s all I’m saying. I’ve seen a couple of them because I’m 18 and over and when I looked, it said, “Click if you’re 18 and over,” so I was like, Yep I’m cool, and then I clicked it.
It’s all about how you deal with it. With me, I had a lot of explicit offers come to the table with a lot of money being offered to me and I could’ve been blinded by the money as far as traveling down that road and then I think for sure career over. But it’s just all how you deal with it. If you learn from it and try to move on and do things that’s are more positive in your career and not suck yourself into the negativity, I think that’s how you overcome that.
(((This is old news, but perhaps since Ray J’s mother recently discussed this on Wendy Williams, he felt the need to give his thoughts–again. Or perhaps this discussion increases attention to the family’s new reality show. Whatever, I’m over it.)))
If you missed it, hear what Ray J’s mother has to say about the private images between her son and Kardashian.
The London Evening Standard:
“Where once she soared, now she wheezes and croaks, bludgeoning her perfect pop single ‘I Wanna Dance (With Somebody Who Loves Me)’ into karaoke submission; stripping the moving ‘My Love Is Your Love’ of all emotion and inflicting grisly carnage on ‘I Will Always Love You’ (if she is late-period Judy Garland, this is her ‘Over The Rainbow’).”
“Her voice, seemingly about an octave deeper than the Whitney who sang the hits, is ragged and raw … Between songs, wheezing and panting and occasionally breaking into a scary Wicked Witch of the West cackle, she plays for time, breaking off to sign autographs.”
“When she then tried to perform a medley of her early songs, even her infinitely patient audience began to revolt. Houston placated them, as she repeatedly did, by acting like a spoilt girl — giggling, begging forgiveness, stamping her feet and then being momentarily brilliant again.”
Please peep the clip below and judge for yourself.
(((I’ve always been a Whitney fan and I’m a bit sad that she hasn’t bounced back vocally yet. I just don’t know y’all…)))