Schwarzenegger Knocks-Up the Cleaning Lady, Admits to Fathering A Child Outside of Marriage

The Los Angeles Times has reported that Arnold Schwarzenegger fathered a child outside of his marriage with Maria Shriver. The child is with a member of his household staff (which means he was boning the cleaning lady, I kid….not funny.) Prior to the couple announcing their separation, Shriver had moved out of the house, after Schwarzenegger confessed about the child. Schwarzenegger released in a statement, “After leaving the governor’s office I told my wife about this event, which occurred over a decade ago. I understand and deserve the feelings of anger and disappointment among my friends and family. There are no excuses and I take full responsibility for the hurt I have caused. I have apologized to Maria, my children and my family. I am truly sorry. I ask that the media respect my wife and children through this extremely difficult time. While I deserve your attention and criticism, my family does not.” The staff member had worked for their household for twenty years and had recently retired. Wow. Wow. Wow.