Recap–Real Housewives of Atlanta: Dr. Finality, Freak Numbers, Purity Rings, Phaedra Foolishness & Greg’s Idiocy

“Have you peed on anyone?” Kandi

If you missed Sunday’s episode of The Real Housewives of Atlanta, don’t fret, boo! Ya girl Yosh is back for a recap (My apologies for my absence, birthday festivities/madness/Turkey, blah, blah, blah.)

“Now I’m sort of chained to this baby.” Phaedra

Instead of giving you a blow-by-blow of what went down, I’m giving you the BEST and WORST moments of the show. These moments made me either screw my face up, yawn, or high five my damn self while sipping my Yoso ((Ciroc Red Berry and Minute Maid Cranberry Apple Raspberry juice–is Ciroc paying us?))

Lets. Go.

1. Confronting Dr. Tiy-E. Muhummad– Im going to just drop the Dr. because clearly this clown is no more of a Dr. than Mr. The Chronic himself. So Sheree meets up with Tiy-E. for lunch to talk about the spades party. She feels they (Sheree & Tiy-E) were lacking “communication, trust and honesty.” What she really wanted to get at what was up with his credentials (or lack thereof). He expresses that there’s a such thing as “appropriateness” and asking too much too soon. (Boy, please. She just asked about your occupation–not your social security number!) Then he wants to go back and forth with her about each other about their children (they both of children from previous relationships) not meeting each other. During this entire conversation, Sheree keeps interrupting him so Tiy-E has to use the “let me finish” line more than a few times. Then things get a little heated, as Tiy-E pull some mysterious papers out of his pocket while Sheree is like “prove you’re a Dr.”, he goes on to say “Prove you’re woman.” Even my pretty brown eyes can see Sheree is all woman. Bottom line, at the beginning of this season, we met Tiy-E’s representative who called himself a doctor. He’s not. We knew it. We’re over it.
2. Greg on Radio– Kandi goes to visit Kim and tells her about some “new gossip.” Meanwhile, Lawrence visits Sheree at the gym and asks has she heard the “new gossip.” Exactly what’s the “new gossip?” Everybody in town (Atlanta) has heard Greg on the radio discussing his pending divorce and a whole bunch of not-cool-shit-to-say-about-your-wife-on-the-radio-foolishness (about NeNe). By the way, we posted the actual audio of the interview a few months before this new season aired, but you can see it here again.
3. Kandi Koated Nights– So because Kandi’s radio show has a bigger following (I only knew because of RHOA), she decided to move it from her studio, to her store Tags in Atlanta. These chicks waste no time in getting down to the nitty gritty because as soon as NeNe, Kim and Sheree appear as guest on the show, Kandi goes all the way in with the questions. Kandi even asked if Sheree’s urinated (she said pee, but we keepin’ it classy San Diego) on anyone? Da hell! Also, they break-down the meaning behind, “Freak Number.” So there’s this thing called your Freak #, where you rate yourself on a scale of 1-10 as how much of a freak you are. Sheree is 9 because of whatever, Kandi gives Kim a 7 and NeNe thinks that Kim is a 12 because she said yes to anal sex (Hmm how bout that). NeNe is really a damn prude! (How in the hell is an ex-stripper a prude???!!!) Cynthia is a 6 because she’s open to new things. Things really got hot when Kandi introduced Luscious! Lemme justsay he is my FAVORITE exotic dancer next to “SOS of Baltimore” and I can only imagine what the unedited footage entailed. I would’ve lost my damn mind! *sips my Yoso and crosses legs*
4. 
5. NeNe’s attorney visit– Greg has now cut off all communication according to NeNe, so her friend Diana takes her to see an attorney to inquire about divorce options. She’s not trying to hurt him, but she wants to move forward and do it privately.
6. Phaedra Dearest: I can’t stomach this broad. I mean she sees her son for the 1^st time and says “Gross” and on the car ride home, she’s complaining about her life being over? B*tch! You are giving me more Joan Crawford than anything right now. She has no motherly instincts, but lets pray that things change w/ time. By the way, did y’all see her baby debut? Baby. Dopeness.
7. Kim’s Daughter’s Purity Ring– Not the fact that it’s blinged out and cost three stacks, but the fact that her daughter is talking about “until Im 18” is a bit odd. What happened to waiting fo marriage? Although it’s unrealistic for most, as a pre-teen, let’s aim high and @ least wait until college. Kim must not know her daughter is either “coloring” or had dry humped in her former life.
8. NeNe Confronts Greg– After having her 1^st day on the job, she goes to look up the daily gossip and BAM! (in my best NeNe voice), the audio clip of Greg talkin’ sh*t is right in front of her face appears. Her co-worker comes over to check on her and NeNe quickly lets her know what’s going on. She goes home and immediately confronts Greg. She gives him the transcript of what was said. He explains to her that it wasn’t an interview, and he was venting to his friend Cory after an argument. All of that goes out the window to NeNe. He has done her wrong and can’t figure out why he even would come out of his mouth like that. She doesn’t know who he is anymore and she has officially waived the white flag. IT’S OVER!

I must say that was a great episode and I can’t wait to see what happens next Sunday!