RHOA Recap, “What is this, the f*cking nutcracker?”

If you missed Episode 3 last night on Real Housewives of Atlanta, you missed pure entertainment. Your favorite girl Yosh’ll be back next week with a recap, but for now, you’ll hafta digest my recap. Short. Attention. Span. Flow. All. Day.

A few entertaining quotes from last night:  

“These are my eyes and if you don’t like them, you can pluck them out and give me two moe.” NeNe Leakes

“What is this? The fucking nutcracker?” Kim

“A wig does not count as a hat, honey!” Phaedra

What did you REALLY miss? Nene’s plastic surgery and Phaedra’s baby shower.

Let me first start with Phaedra’s baby shower. Similar to a snooty “southern,” uppity wedding, guests were required to wear hats and gloves. If you’ve ever been to a mother-daughter tea or are a member of an organization or society that craves off of this type shit, this is exactly what it was. Phaedra wore these God awful roses in her head, rhinestones on her eyelids and did a “father-daughter” (that’s not what it’s called, but what it damn sure looked like) dance. During the baby shower, these ballerina dancers came out and danced around the tables (in  my mind, glitter was involved). At this point, Kim, who came late as hell with no hat or gloves on, exclaims,  “What is this the fuckin nutcracker?” The only housewives that were invited were Cynthia, Kandi and Kim. Past cast member, Lisa Wu attended. Phaedra’s husband, Apollo, either did not attend or was not shown on camera.

While watching this episode, folks were tweeting about how obnoxious Phaedra’s shower was. In response to this, Dwight , who seems to be Phaedra’s real husband and remains supportive of her, tweeted: “Well dolls, I look at it this way, when it comes to weddings, baby showers, B’day parties and sex, you have got to do you. No matter what. Whatever you like. After all, it is personal occasion. I’ll tell anyone, be different and unique and don’t try to meet someone else’s expectations becuz they’re gonna talk about you anyway, so give them something to talk about. You see me, I do Dwight! All the way live.”

Last week, Nene finally admitted that she had ‘work’done (I mean hell, she knew that the following week this episode would air.) Nene’s best friend came with her for the plastic surgery procedure. Nene’s husband, Greg was obviously absent and Nene requested his presence a few times with no luck.

Lastly, not worth dwelling on, but Phaedra is just flat-out ridiculous at times. While in a limo ride with Cynthia and her fiance, they discover that Cynthia’s husband has 5 children. Phaedra remarks that she could never have a husband that was not clean (meaning w/ children) nor deal with baby-mama drama. She also brags about how she’s an equestrian (horse back rider), has X number of degress, is holy ghost filled, southern, blah, blah, blah. (….Girl, grow some edges, remove that dark-ass lip liner and have a seat. We love dope women, but dopeness need not be yelled from the top of your fuckin lungs….)

We also ‘met’ Kims mother and father who seem to be supportive of her relationship with Big Poppa. :::shrug:::

That’s all I got for you folks. Yosh’ll be back next week.