Janay Rice In Her Own Words: He spit at me and I slapped him. + Ray Rice Releases Statement After Reinstatement

We got into the elevator and what happened inside is still foggy to me. The only thing I know — and I can’t even say I “remember” because I only know from what Ray has told me — is that I slapped him again and then he hit me. I remember nothing else from inside the elevator.

The next thing I do recall is being in the casino lobby, surrounded by cops.

The police separated us and arrested us. They told me they had the entire incident on video. I was bawling. The cops tried to tell me what happened and I refused to believe them. If anything, I just felt like I was still drunk. I said to one officer, “That’s not us. What do you mean?” There were no marks on my face or body, and I felt perfectly fine. I was in complete shock.

They took Ray and I to the police station, where they held us together in the same room, but they kept us far enough apart so that they could talk to us separately. Eventually, we were left alone and Ray kept saying, “It’s going to be OK. We’ll be OK.” He just kept crying and apologizing, but I didn’t really want to speak to him.

We were at the police station for about six hours. Our Baltimore friends waited patiently as the police questioned us, and then drove us back home. I didn’t want to talk because we weren’t in the car alone. While in the car Ray called his manager; the Ravens security director, Darren Sanders; and his mom.

I was basically silent the whole way home. I was just in a fog.

Before that night in Atlantic City, I would have characterized our relationship as going pretty well. I’d finally graduated college in December with my bachelor’s in communications. It seemed like we were finally moving towards all the things we wanted in life.

RIDING BACK from Atlantic City to our house in Baltimore County, I still felt like I was in a fog. My mom had been babysitting Rayven, so she was there when we arrived. She knew we had been arrested, but she didn’t know exactly why. When we came in, she tried to talk to me, but I told her I didn’t want to go there yet.

Ray pulled her aside to tell her what happened, and when he did, I left the room. We separated in the house for most of the day. Ray was in tears, and I let him have his time.

Later, my mother asked me privately did this ever happen before. I understood why she asked, but I was livid –probably because I was embarrassed. She told me she was not going to allow me to be in a situation like this. She said she wasn’t going to tolerate that from either one of us, and that I needed to make a decision about whether I was able to move past it. I just sat there and let her speak because I had no words. She wasn’t saying anything wrong. But I was still processing everything.

Ray accepted responsibility from the moment we left the police station but even though my parents have always loved Ray, they made it clear their daughter would be treated right.

At first, I was very angry, and I didn’t know what to say. This came out of nowhere. Nothing like this had ever happened before. I knew it wasn’t him.

But as angry as I was, I knew it was something that we could move on from because I know Ray. I thought about our daughter. When she comes in the room, it’s like nothing is going on. We knew it was definitely going to take work, and we knew we had to be by each other’s side. I just needed to get away from him for a little while, and spend a few hours taking my space to get my thoughts together.

I convinced myself that this was all behind me. The next day, I finally felt like I was coming out of that fog.

That’s when Ray told me, “We’ve got to get ready for this to be on the ticker.”

WE KNEW it was a possibility that some video would come out. We definitely feared it.

The day after everything happened, we met with Ray’s manager and the lawyers. They all warned us it could come