‘I see why people commit suicide.’ Ray Rice Gets Reflective About Domestic Violence Controversy

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Ray Rice is opening up emotionally, sharing how his life has changed since the domestic violence controversy plagued his career and personal life. It’s been a year since footage went viral, showing the former Baltimore Ravens running back inside an Atlantic City, N.J., casino elevator, attacking his now wife, Janay Rice.

In an interview with the Baltimore Sun, Rice shares how he’s handled the situation; how he handles the public’s perception of him; his feelings about the Ravens and NFL commissioner Roger Goodell and his plans to move forward.

Peep a few excerpts.

How He Feels Emotionally:

The big picture of it all, being the person that I am, I really felt horrible. You almost want to punish yourself. I know I’m never going to win the battle of public opinion. Honestly, I almost felt like at one point that it wasn’t worth living. I see why people commit suicide. It hurt that bad. I was low, real low. It hurt that bad because you worked your whole life to do all the right things and then you’re the world’s most hated person. It was really tough. My daughter, oh Lord, I grew up without a father, there’s no way I could check out on my own family.

How he’s now viewed by the public:

It’s tough, I realize that’s a battle I’m going to have to face for the rest of my life. Time does heal everything, but I don’t think people are going to forget this. I want people to not forget about the incident, but I want people to see there’s a human being on the other side. This is not a monster, a guy who’s a repeat offender. I’m not the guy they stereotype me to be. I’m not excusing what I did.

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Agonizing daily about how he’ll eventually explain to his young daughter, Rayven, what happened: