Recap==Episode 1, RHOA + Two of NeNe’s Noses Showed Up (WTH!)

(Posted by Yosh)

Baaaaaaaaaaaaaby! The women of Atlanta are back for a 3^rd season! We have all been patiently awaiting the return of these Peaches so let me recap for those who didn’t catch it.

[Slight interjection by the yours truly….Before Yosh starts, we all have seen The Jasmine Brand’s obsession w/ NeNe’s new nose. Do you know that they had the nerve to show NeNE with TWO different noses? Regular Nose NeNe was highlighted throughout the first episode, but when they’d cut to her little interviews New Nose NeNe would appear. Tripped.Me.Out. NeNe shoulda added a clause to her contract. It ain’t right. NeNe’s new nose shouldn’t stand for it.]

The show opens up with Sheree performing monologues with an acting coach. Apparently, she’s put her fashion line She by Sheree (as if that line was actually going to make some sort of legway in the fashion world) on hold to pursue an acting career. She imagines that she could win an Oscar one day <–her words, not mine O_o. While, in her ‘acting’ class, NeNe (with her regular nose) visits for a little gossip, where she shows the Life & Style article of Kim discussing her lesbian girlfriend.

Fast forward, NeNe invites Kim over to talk about their love-hate relationship. Keep in mind that the last time that they saw each other “the moose” as Kim calls NeNE, was trying to choke her out. I swear this shit is all for tv, but I honestly think these two have a lot of history together and they need to work out their differences. NeNe pulls out all the stops for this meeting with Kim! Hires a chef, orders expensive wine and was wearing a Gone With the Wind type gown. Anyway, Kim arrives and they sit for cocktails and shoot the breeze. Then, Kim lets the cat out the bag and shares that Greg (NeNe’s husband), owes Dwight  (NeNe’s fabulous sidekick and hairstylist) $10,000.00! According to Dwight, Greg borrowed it from him. NeNe is pissed because she has her own money and feels as if Greg could’ve came to her for this request. To make matters worse, Dwight’s going around talking about how broke Greg is. Tsk, tsk tsk, A Queen will be a Queen!

Fast Forward: Kim and Kandie meet up or snacks (no, really, snacks) and drinks. Kim asks her how her love life is going with her new love interest Willis McGahee of the Baltimore Ravens. Baaaaaaaaaby! Now everybody knows this man gets around. Stories have been flying all over the blogs about him and even some of his chicks have been commenting on his deceiving ways. They even go rock climbing together! During this rock climbing date, she talks to him about a bet that she made with a girlfriend to remain celibate for the rest of 2010. Do you know this ninja asked “What about oral sex?”! Like dude for real? You bold as shit asking for head on national television!

In this episode, we also meet Phaedra Parks who is a self-proclaimed “southern belle”. She’s an entertainment attorney who’s currently, married to a man much younger than her named Apollo, which she made sign a pre-nup! Go bitch! Protect yo paper! Oh and get this, he’s an ex-con. Boy these women sure know how to pick ‘em. They are expecting their first baby together. Later on during the show, Phaedra pays a visit to Dwight. During this visit, Dwight vents on how he spent $30,000 in helping Sheree’s fashion show last season. Hmmm really? You bank’n like that Dwight? Anyway, he then proceeds to talk about how much he misses NeNe and is unsure of why they haven’t communicated in awhile.

Fast forward: B Chic Boutique hosts a shoe preview @ Loews. Everybody who’s hot in Atlanta is invited to this event (according to them), including NeNe and Dwight. NeNe reveals to Kim in the car that she plans Dwight a check and present it to him at the event. At the event, Dwight approaches NeNe like old friends and as he begins to hug her, NeNe snubs him! She completely loses it (as she’s done the last few seasons) and goes ape shit (sidebar, i don’t believe her one bit…someone should just pop her and shut her up….) Honestly, this wasn’t the time nor the place for her to confront Dwight. But hell, it wouldn’t be a season opener without some DRAMA!!!

NeNe continues with the drama, by giving Dwight the check (w/ lots of stereotypical neck-rolling and yelling). Dwight rips the check up. “I gave Greg cash, I want cash back!” Meanwhile, she’s yelling backing Dwight up into a corner. It’s all just too much at this point. Everybody yellin’…nobody is swingin’….

Eventually, NeNe leaves and Dwight apologizes for the outburst and explains that he is a “tiger and will fight.” Oh really Dwight? Just like Sheree said, if you had so much to say about NeNe behind her back, why didn’t you say any of it then? I’m going to give him his props because as I said before, that wasn’t the time or place. This season is going to be as juicy as those peaches down in Georgia and I will be bringing you a recap every Monday! Til next week dolls!