Ladies: FIVE Reasons Why You’re No Different Than Kim Kardashian

Look, I do this for a living, but to be honest, after news hit that Kim Kardashian and Kanye West were expecting their first child, I was surprised that the slander reached such prolific levels, so quickly. On twitter, Facebook and via text messages (with my own girlfriends, yeah we talk politics and gossip @ 1 a.m. EST), I witnessed a ton of name calling, twitter mud swinging and utter disgust at the fact that Kim Kardashian was expecting. And while, I certainly don’t insert my opinion (although I did last month, with Rita Ora vs Rob Kardashian) on a regular basis here, I figured that you’d allow me to, the last day of the year. So, ladies, before you go pointing your finger, here are FIVE reasons why it’s highly likely that you’re like Kim Kardashian.

  1. Often times, I hear folk taunt Kim with the fact that she’s slept with so many men. To date, we probably know about ten men that she’s slept with (let’s assume, there are more). Chances are, if you’re in your upper 20’s to early 30’s, you’ve been intimate with ten men. And if you haven’t, your best girlfriend probably has. What makes her count look and sound so whore-ish? It’s up for public consumption. If we took a look @ the men you’ve laid down with, we may be throwing rocks at you too, boo (*cough* and even me, luckily I’m a virgin!)
  2. Kim had a famous sex tape w/ Ray-J, which kicked off her career (which really isn’t my point here). My point is, if you’ve been in an exclusive relationship w/ a man, its HIGHLY likely you’ve either sent him nude photos, skyped some sex kitten surprises or (gasp), recorded your very own sexcapade via camera or video phone (sings Beyonce song). The lesson here is, don’t hit record.
  3. Kim’s marriage to NBA baller Kris Humphries lasted 60 seconds, give or take. But, have you ever known someone that married the wrong person? In fact, they knew it before they walked down the aisle, but decided to just go thru w/ it bc they didn’t want to embarrass themselves or their families?  Okay, maybe no. But haven’t you ever settled for someone bc it looked and sounded like the right guy? Perhaps it looked good on paper. What I’m saying is, some of you married the wrong man or would have had he actually asked you.
  4. Kim’s love-dovey tweets w/ Kanye can be sorta-kinda annoying. Partially, because some of us feel she does it for self promotion. Nonethess, all of my friends (and even you) are annoying when you’re in love with a man, and you express that love on social media. Hell, if you’ve ever shared Instagram pics of the flowers he sent, snapped him in bed (while he’s sleeping) or even tweeted him (while he’s literally across the dinner table from you) you too are guilty. All sorts of celebs use twitter to validate their relationships…and Kim’s no different (and you ain’t either).
  5. Love. Don’t we all want ‘it’? At the beginning or end of the day, who I’m in love with and under what circumstances (even if I’m legally married to another man) may look insane to you. Perhaps you could never fathom falling in love w an asshole like Ye…but if you’ve loved before, chances are you’ve had an asshole or two. And if your asshole had the chance to make dope music, interrupt Taylor Swift and pull George Bush’s card (hell, he allegedly doesn’t like black people anyway), you’d surely get knocked-up and be just in love too.

Long story short, be judgemental, but pull out a mirror please, first :) With all kinds of, I-normally-don’t-give-my-two-cents but-its-NYE-love,

P.S. Please feel free to chime in on why my two cents are totally ridiculous or if you sorta-kinda agree. i love you virtually, regardless :)