[VIDEO] EXCLUSIVE: Nicci Gilbert Gets Emotional, Opens Up About TV One Lawsuit

media, it’s not like I’m flipping out and going crazy. I’ve been dealing with this for a number of years. It just got out, I’m not pleased or happy with how, but we’ve dealt with that.

On Not Being Paid From the Network:

I don’t want to go into the numbers but to answer your question, I have not [been paid]. It’s no secret, I haven’t been paid since last year.

If She Misses Being Talent on the Show:

Honestly, yes there are moments that I do miss it. I miss being talent on the show from season one. A lot of people may think I’m making excuses for my behavior and I’m blaming editing, that isn’t the issue. I do miss the opportunities reality TV provides–and the whole reason I created this franchise.

Do I miss waking up every day on the edge of a nervous breakdown because I feel like the world hates me,? No–I don’t miss that part. I do miss being on the TV and I do miss my sisters. I miss Keke [Wyatt], Faith [Evans] and us working together. I am regretful that some of the other relationships I had for like 10-15 years are completely ruined in the blink of an eye.

Losing her friendship: 

It really makes me sad that people who were like my friends-I was looking at an email that I had from Syleena Johnson after season one…We all sent emails to each other checking on one another making sure we were good. All of the beautiful wonderful things that our sisterhood was leading to I thought we were going to be closer than anybody else. And to now be in a situation where somebody hates you to pieces and every opportunity they get they talk about how they can’t stand you and this doesn’t work, yeah I’d love the opportunity to really feel like what went wrong and I have a very good idea but again my ideas don’t matter as much as the judges and them looking through the documents and seeing what it is. If I had it my way, we would have had drama, telling each other off and reading each other but it would have been something that we would have been protected from hating each other.

Thoughts On Her Friendship With Syleena:

Our issues our very real. Let me not say we’ll never be friends because at the end of the day at the core of who she is, is a good person. I’m disappointed that she goes on radio interviews and says I shouldn’t get a gig knowing how bad I need a gig, her and Monifah clowned me…At the end of the day I busted my ass to make sure we all had a job, we all ate, we all had a platform. I busted my ass for them, other producers had other suggestions and I was like, ‘Hell to the naw’. I’m just disappointed they don’t think more of that.

On Forgiving Syleena:

Because I know what goes into shows, I forgave her while it was all happening…I have forgiven her, do I feel very disappointed in her and Monifah, and all the other ladies who have turned their backs because of what they need to do to move their careers forward? It’s very disappointing–I didn’t loose any friends–I feel like I’ve lost a lot of people who I thought were my friends. Do I consider her a friend? No, I consider her a person I love and is working on herself, I accept her apology even though I know she hasn’t given it to me because I know that she knows that she was wrong.

If She Could Ask God One Question:

Am I handling this the way I should because sometime I want to flip out and go ham. Other times I’m like, you’ll never be given more than you can handle.

If She Was Fired From R&B Divas: 

Anybody who watched the show watched the finale [knows] that I stated clearly that I no longer wanted to be apart of it. That’s how I felt and I stayed true to that, I have no desire to come back to that situation…If we couldn’t go to the original vision of this how which was sisters fighting and getting through and healing, I no longer wanted to be apart of it. No I wasn’t fired…but I decided it was more important for me to stick to my guns, I learned valuable lessons.

Watch the full clip.