Maria Shriver’s Short A$$ Response to Arnold

The news hit the country that Maria Shriver’s husband, ex-governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, fathered a child outside of their marriage. She released the shortest statement known to man.

“This is a painful and heartbreaking time. As a mother, my concern is for the children. I ask for compassion, respect and privacy as my children and I try to rebuild our lives and heal. I will have no further comment.”

Short and sweet. But had this been me, I’d have an even shorter statement:

“Fuck you. Pay me.”