Kandi Burruss On…Love In Your 30's & Celibacy

Kandi opens up via Vibe and blogs about love, relationships and a how sex makes things tricky. Peep excerpts below: 

Everybody in the world is in [Halle Berry’s] business. Everybody is like: She’s dated a lot of men. But most of us have had a lot of relationships. We’re just not as big of a celebrity as she is so people [aren’t] as much into our everyday business. She never said dude was gonna be her husband so I don’t see what the big deal in that was.

The older you get the harder you get with your feelings and being able to be won over. When you’re younger, like 20, 21, it’s all about: Ooh I love him and he doesn’t even have to be rich. He doesn’t have to be this. He doesn’t have to be that. He just has to be somebody that makes you smile.

As you get in your ’30s, all of a sudden you’ve been through so many types of situations and it’s like: He gotta have this amount of money. He gotta be this. He gotta be that. I’m not putting up with this. I’m not putting up with that. You get so many rules and regulations that you didn’t have in your early ’20s. So by the time you decide you finally looking for that one, it’s like every guy that comes along, they’re not good enough anymore. 

I feel like as women we’ll be so quick to like the first time a guy comes around. We don’t really date. I know I have not been good at just dating people. So now that I’m older my mom was like, “Just date and don’t get too serious about one person.” But what I realized is when you meet a man and he sees that quality in you that you’re marriage material, he’s putting the pressure to be all about him even though he may be still keeping his options open.

We shouldn’t be so in a rush to lay up and have sex with a guy because all of a sudden we catch those feelings. We are closing off options. I’m on a bet right now where I can’t have sex with nobody until after this year is over [Laughs]. So I’m not locking nobody down because I’m not letting any relationship get sexual. It’s easier to date, but when you start having sex with the person, then that makes you want to keep giving it to him. My mom always tells me, a man can have 200 women and be cool. But two men would drive a woman crazy and that’s because we be trying to give all our attention.

My friends say I have “man emotion.” I act like a dude in the sense of I can get over people easily as far as relationships. It doesn’t take me long to move on. When I decide that you ain’t doing right and you did something wrong to me, then I’m done. And I’m done. As soon as we break up, I have a date set up for the next week. I’m not letting nobody keep taking me through the ringer over and over. —As Told To Starrene Rhett (Here for full story)

(((Well effing said.  May I say that the world may be a better place if we closed our legs? Am I not allowed to say that and mean it? I would say more, but some of you aren’t as non-judgemental as I am….Cue the music!!! ;-)))