Oprah Doesn’t Regret NOT Having Kids & Stands By Decision To NOT Marry Boyfriend Stedman Graham: If We Had Married, We Would Not Be Together
It’s no secret Oprah Winfrey has proudly steered clear of the traditional route when it comes to love, marriage, and baby in a baby carriage. She’s been infamously dating Stedman Graham for more than 30 years and has said in the past that she has no desire to get married or have children.
She opened up about her choices recently and said she doesn’t regret not tying the knot with Graham. In fact, she added that had they gone the marriage and children route, she doesn’t think they’d be together today. And he agrees.
“Both he and I now say, ‘If we had married, we would not be together.’ No question about it — we would not stay married, because of what that would have meant to him, and I would have had my own ideas about it.”
Still, they almost tied the knot. They got engaged in 1992, but just never actually married. Winfrey added,
“I was working these 17-hour days, and so were my producers, and then I go home and I have my two dogs and I have Stedman, who’s letting me be who I need to be in the world. That’s why I had not just cold feet, I had two feet in a block of cement — because my feeling was, he is a traditional guy, but this is a completely untraditional relationship. If it remained a relationship, I can manage it. If I become the wife, now I’ve got to play by the rules of whatever that is, and that would not have been pretty.”
Graham seems to not have any regrets either. He said over the summer,
“The thing about our relationship is I want the best for her. So I’m dedicated to her happiness, so that’s great for her and I want her to be the best she can possibly be and she’s done a pretty good job of doing it.”
“For me, I’ve been able to find my own happiness, and develop my own skills, my own talents, my own abilities and I’m satisfied with that. So, the combination, when you have a good partner that’s able to self-actualize their potential and you’re able to self-actualize yours, one and one equals about six.”
As for children, Winfrey said it was her daytime talk show that played a factor in her choice not to have any.
“Doing the Oprah show allowed me to see the depth of responsibility and sacrifice that is actually required to be a mother. I realized, ‘Whoa, I’m talking to a lot of messed-up people, and they are messed up because they had mothers and fathers who were not aware of how serious that job is.'”
While her BFF Gayle King, who has two children, told her she’d later regret her life choices, Winfrey said,
“I have not had one regret about that.”
Winfrey said she’s been able to experience motherhood at a certain level, via the Oprah Winfrey leadership Academy for Girls in South Africa.
“They just started calling me Mom Oprah. Which is really, really fine with me because I feel like they are my daughters. They’re the daughters I did not have. This was how having children was supposed to manifest for me. And I never thought that that mothering instinct was something for me.”
“I like babies but I like them, like, ‘Hi baby! Now go over there.”‘
She continued and said,
“I like children when they can actually speak to me and tell me what the problem is. And so, 12 years old is really good for that. So getting them at 12 years old was actually perfect for me. That I became a mom of 12-year-olds — so they’re just right for being led to the best parts of themselves.”
What are your thoughts about Oprah’s remarks about not getting married and not having children? Let us know in the comments.