Gabby Sidibe Talks Eating Disorder: I wanted to throw up because I was sad.

Gabby Sidibe Talks Eating Disorder

Gabourey Sidibe has come a long way since her debut as the lead character in Lee Daniels’  2009 film “Precious”. Gabby, as she’s affectionately called has taken the world by storm with her countless accolades and her most famous role to boot as “Becky” on Fox’s Empire where she was personally casted in that role just as she was for the role of Precious by Daniels himself.

The 33-year-old actress who struggled with her weight for years recently went under the knife for weight loss surgery, is looking better than ever and her confidence shows in her many Instagram posts. Sidibe, who appeared to be happy on the outside struggled for years with depression and anxiety as she personally dealt with her weight issues that ranged from dealing with bulimia, abuse and bullying.

Recently, she dished about her new memoir, “This Is Just My Face: Try Not to Stare” due in stores May 1, her troubling childhood and her famous best friends— Empire co-star Jussie Smollett and the man who gave her first starring role, Lee Daniels. Check out a few excerpts.

On healing from her abusive relationship with her father:

For a long time, my father was dead to me. I didn’t want to justify his actions, but it’s interesting to see what’s behind them. The six-year-old in me is still pissed, but I don’t think I am a victim. I don’t want people to shed tears for me. He beat me, but we have all been through sh*t.

Adding,

A lot of people will write a book and pretend that whatever they are writing about they are done with, and now they are perfect. I’m not perfect. I am just as f*cked up. I am who I am, and all of this sh*t in my life will be a struggle forever…but I’m fine. Well, I’m becoming fine.

Lee Daniels w/ ‘Empire’ Cast

On how she felt as she overheard a phone call between Daniels and an editor from a fashion magazine:

It really devastated me. I guess I thought that going from literally nothing to the lead in the movie would show people that I wouldn’t be just fat anymore, or at least that’s not the first thing people would think of me, that I’m not too fat or too black or ghetto or nappy—that wouldn’t be part of my narrative anymore, but it was.

On her dealing with her eating disorders in college:

I always wanted to thr-w up because I was so sad. I really liked challenging myself to not eat for three days, she says. Sometimes I would eat a slice of bread and drink a bottle of water just to thr-w it up.

Jussie Smollet, Gabby Sidebe, Taraji P. Henson

On her friendship with Jussie Smollett:

[He is] the He-Man to my She-Ra.

On being bullied and bullying others: 

I was bullied, but there are people that I f*cking bullied, too, because it hurt. Being bullied didn’t shape who the f*ck I am. It shaped some of my emotions and some of my tenderness and why I don’t let people support me, but that sh*t also started at home. My first bully was my older brother. He said horrible things to me and I said just as bad things to him.

On how having money hasn’t changed her issues: 

I get sad because that’s still in my blood. I still have f*cking issues. When I didn’t have any money, I worried about it. Now that I have money, I worry about it. The struggle is definitely real.

By:@JnelleBelle